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Category: BE WHO YOU ARE, LOVE WHO YOU ARE

  1. The ONLY resolution I am making for 2019!

    Posted on

    *warning: this post does include the 'sh word'. Quite a lot. So please do not read on if this would offend you*

    It's that time of year when everyone is making resolutions to drink less, eat more healthy food, go to the gym and so on and so on. All good and worthy resolutions and all which show that New Year is a time when we all feel fired up to make a fresh start, to up our game and to be 'better' in everything that we do.

    sporty legs

    But, in 2019, I am taking a different route towards resolutions and it involves making just one decision - the decision to let one question help me make the year as sucessful as I possibly can - and that question is 'what would Shit Hot Helen do?'

    I hit a bit of a slump in the latter half of 2018. My eating and drinking habits got progressively unhealthy and I piled on weight, I was getting frustrated that life kept getting in the way of my work and I had a general feeling of apathy that I just couldn't shake. 

    But then, I got fed-up of being fed-up.

    This wasn't the me that I wanted to be – I wanted to be shit hot Helen, not sad, lazy Helen.

     sad

    I once went to a talk by the son of the first victim of the Yorkshire Ripper. He is now a motivational speaker who travels the world, and this talk I listened to was one of the best I have ever heard. It had a real impact on me and several messages within it hit home – one being about how we should all do the very best we can, no matter what it is that we're doing. He spoke about how we can all step up our game – like turning up a thermostat, we can all dial ourselves up a notch or 2 to be an even better version of ourselves. And this is what I needed to do. I needed to turn up my thermostat.

    And this is what I vow to do in 2019. And I am doing it by asking myself the constant question 'what would Shit Hot Helen do?' Now, Shit Hot Helen is the version of myself that I aspire to be – she is successful in her business, is losing weight and getting healthy and she cares about herself and how she looks. Quite frankly, she's on it! And the exciting truth about Shit Hot Helen is that I have everything within me already to be her – if I want to be and am willing to put in the work.

    So now, if I feel a bit tired and don't feel like doing that extra work that I know would make a big difference I ask 'What would Shit Hot Helen do?' (she'd dig deep and do the work!)

    When I feel a bit fed-up and feel like reaching for the wine and chocolate, I ask 'what would Shit Hot Helen do?' (She would have the willpower to avoid the wine and the chocolate and would make herself prepare a healthy snack or maybe go for a walk and get some fresh air)

    When I'm tempted to just throw my scruffy jeans on to nip to the shops I ask 'what would Shit Hot Helen do?' (she would make the effort to choose a nice outfit and leave the house feeling much better about herself)

    And so it continues. And the more I take the course of action that Shit Hot Helen would take, the more I can become her – a better model of myself. And by doing this I will begin to make better decisions in all aspects of my life - in health, in work and in relationships. It is one resolution that serves all areas of life. And one which sets me up to succeed and not to fail by giving me the space for habits to change and behaviour to shift. I may not always take the course of action that SHH would, but the more I ask the question the more my thermostat has the chance to turn in the right direction. 

    shithotquote

    We all have within us the potential to be that shit hot version of ourselves – and if we start behaving like they do, then we can all turn up that thermostat and become them.

    So for me, the route to a successful 2019 isn't in making resolutions that may not last, it's about asking one question that reminds me that everything I need for success is already there, it just needs the energy and the determination to use it. 

    So, start asking yourself the same question about your own shit hot self and we can all strive together to reach our fullest potential in 2019.

    Let's turn those thermostats up!

    Helen x

  2. Stone Me!

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    I started my first little business 20 years ago. And as unlikely as it sounds it was selling painted stones. It was called Stone Me and it was the beginning of an adventure that I started because I had such a strong desire to be my own boss and to build my own business. I was in my early twenties, and although I didn't have much confidence, I was full of energy and love for my little stones.

    stoneme1

    [pic above: me with my stall, sponsored by the Prince's Trust, at the Cheshire Show in June 2000. Martin Bell OBE popped over to say hello on one of the days! Look at all those stones!]

    I travelled all over doing networking events and business training, I had stalls all the time including ones at massive events including the Cheshire Show and the Southport Flower Show and I worked really hard getting out there and building a reputation for Stone Me.

    stoneme2

    [pic above: My front page appearance in Warrington Worldwide magazine in August 2001 and a promotional postcard I used from about 1999]

    And then I got a permanent teaching post. Followed by a mortgage. Eventually followed by children and painted stones faded away for more serious pursuits. I have always continued to have some form of creative freelance work alongside my teaching because the urge was always there – be it photography, fine art and even cake decorating – so to finally take the leap into pursuing my own creative work again full-time a few years ago felt like something I had been waiting a long time for.

    But lately, the responsibility of this has weighed heavy on me. It's not too long ago that I went 'all-in' just on my artwork (rather than selling mainly craft based work to make my income) and this involved some massive financial risks (and sacrifices!) for my family to cope with leaving me feeling extremely guilty a lot of the time!

    I felt a bit lost. And when I should have been working harder than ever I seemed to slow down. I needed to find that energy again, the love and belief in my own art work and where it could take me. So, I went back to my roots. I went back to where it all began and I painted some stones – and I loved it :)

    It reminded me to find the joy in my work again, and reminded me what it was like back then with a whole world of possibilities in front of me. And then I also realised that they fit perfectly with my current mission – about celebrating uniqueness and ordinary joy. The beauty of the painted stones is that each one is different and it's the lumps and bumps and often imperfections in them that suggest the painting that should bring it to life. Every one is different, every one worth celebrating – just like us!

    So, here we are, 20 years after I first started. And I am relaunching 'Stone Me' as part of my current work – to remind myself to work hard, have belief in myself and to be excited about the path ahead. And to remind us all the it's our own lumps, bumps and imperfections that make us unique and amazing!

    THESTONESARECOMING

    Things have come full circle. And I think I like it.

  3. Choose not to wear the sh*t badge.

    Posted on

    I can recall with frightening accuracy times in my life when people said things that left a massive dent in my confidence – like the times at High School when the cool girls would warn me against jumping in the pool at swimming lessons because I was so fat that all the water would come out, or the time one of my University tutors bluntly told me I couldn't draw. And there are many more times I could tell you about – and perhaps you too have clear memories of things that people said or did, possibly many, many years ago, that were less than flattering.

    And I bet, like me, you remember them like they were yesterday. And maybe like me, instead of just denting your confidence, they also become evidence to feed the self-doubt and the crippling overthinking. I look back now, and with my older, more confident head on, I don't have any anger for the people that said these things, but I am so bloody annoyed at myself for listening.

    what you allow quote

    Not only did I listen, I replayed these things time and time again. I wore them. I wore them like a badge. A really, really shit badge. I had so many fantastic badges to wear. Big, shiny, colourful badges, representing all the good things people said and all the amazing things about me. But I chose not to wear those ones. I hid them, lost them – was too timid to wear them. But the tiny, shit one – I chose to wear that one. And that is the brutal truth. I chose to wear it. Nobody made me.

    And that is my point – we can never control what is said or done to us. But we can control how we deal with it. I think it is so important that we all work hard to love who we are to the point that negative or hurtful experiences can be dealt with without lasting damage – and that we are so proudly wearing a vast collection of big, bright, shiny, badges that any rubbish ones soon get hidden and forgotten about. In fact, we need to build up that collection of big, bright, shiny badges so much that they become our suit of armour – a proud confidence in who and what we are that makes us more able to cope with the bad stuff, and in some circumstances, to give us the strength to fight back because we know we don't deserve it.

    maya angelou quote

    We need to give ourselves permission to love who we are and be proud of it – and we need to build up our children to do the same. Yes, we will always potentially come across times and events that challenge us but we have to make sure we don't give them more of our time, attention and belief than we do the positive and uplifting times. Replay the compliments, the successes and the things that deserve to be celebrated.

     Don't choose to wear the shit badge.