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  1. You need a dripping tap not a waterfall...

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    I believe that, at the moment, I have good mental health and a really good grip on my own overthinking tendencies and habits of self-doubt and imposter syndrome – but I am still naturally wired to overthink, to doubt and to worry.

    I don't believe these tendencies will ever disappear. I think if you studied my DNA under a microscope there would be specific genes in there for overthinking and anxiety – I really do believe they are part of my mental blueprint. That is why managing my own mindset habits isn't a matter of an instant overnight fix, but rather daily work to keep my mind healthy and to keep me in control of these habits (instead of allowing them to control me!)

    And the same is also true for you.

    We can spend a long time looking for a 'fix' that will mend our negative thinking habits, a special trick that will give us a massive dollop of self-confidence overnight or a powerful technique that will give amazing and everlasting improvements to our happiness after just 5 minutes. But there just isn't one. Bringing real positive change to your mindset – to your overthinking habits, your self-confidence, your happiness – takes tiny steps, taken every single day.

    little steps quote

    Some of these steps are so small you won't even think you've moved. But over time, these tiny steps – easy and simple techniques – used and practised every day really can have a profound impact on your mental well-being. This is why I share the tips and techniques that I do – because I use them myself every single day and have seen myself the massive difference that they have brought to my life.

    And most of them are so easy to do, and you can start doing them straight away! Everything I share in the Happy Mind Army Member's Club is based on this idea – techniques that are simple to do but which can bring massive results if you commit to doing them. All the stuff I share in the HMA Facebook Group and in the HMA Freebies section is the same – simple stuff that really can have a positive impact on your health and happiness.

    • Yes, just choosing a wallpaper for your phone with an inspiring message can make a difference – you will see it countless times throughout the day, and whether you realise it or not, the message you see will register on your mindset every time you read it.

    • Yes, telling yourself in your head 'I can do this' will make a massive difference – even if you don't quite believe it. Keep repeating it and again, this positive message will slowly chip away at the self-doubt.

    • And yes, wearing your best knickers to Aldi really can help your self-esteem! (You can read more about this here)

    It is about slowly changing the dialogue in your head from negative to positive, tipping the balance from doubt to belief and topping up the banks of self-confidence and happiness. Every single day. It is a dripping tap not a waterfall that makes the difference. Small actions, repeated day in, day out – drip... drip... drip.

    So start your tap dripping today – right now in fact. There is loads of Happy Mind Army stuff you can access absolutely free, including these new phone wallpapers that you can download and start using right now!* It isn't hard to start paying more attention to your mental well-being and it takes very little time commitment to implement these simple things – so you've got no excuses not to start!


    And commit to keeping that tap dripping. At first, you might not believe it will make a difference, but given just a little bit of time it is amazing the impact that a steady drip can have. If left unstopped, and given long enough, a tiny, but regular drip, can cause a landslide.



    * once you have accessed the freebie section in the Happy Mind Army Hub you can login in to it again anytime to download things again or to get any new stuff – simply login in using the email address you signed up with as both the username and password (unless you have since changed your password!)

    The Happy Mind Army Members' Club offers a much more in-depth approach to you taking charge of your mental well-being- each month there are techniques, information and support to really help you build that happy healthy mind you deserve, plus a private members' facebook group where you can share with, ask and be inspired by your fellow members.

  2. A lesson in Overthinking from a picture of my lunch...

    Posted on

    I am running a photo-a-day challenge over in the Happy Mind Army Facebook group at the moment as part of 'March To The Beat of Your Own Drum' – a month full of inspiring stuff to help you be who you are and love who you are – just as you are!


    The aim of the photo challenge is to encourage you to share pictures of simple things like your shoes, the book you're reading, your hobby – all to help you feel proud and comfortable in your own opinions and choices and to take small steps towards overcoming any fears of being judged or any temptation to just join in with the trends and fall into line with everyone else.

    Now, if you're not an overthinker or a people-pleaser this might seem like a bit of a daft exercise, a bit pointless. But if you are an overthinker or a people-pleaser, sharing even simple things like this can be the source of quite a lot of fear and anxiety.

    Let me try and explain.

    Day 2 of the challenge was to post a picture of your 'lunch' and this is the photo I took and shared.


    Now, despite having quite a good grip on my own overthinking and fear of judgement, I am still naturally wired to do both quite frequently. So, the conversation in my brain when it saw the picture ready to post on Facebook went something like this...

    'Oh, I don't think I will post this – what if people judge my living room and don't like it? They might think I am being lazy for watching daytime TV and think I am a bit stupid for watching This Morning. Maybe I should take another picture with the foot stool moved or straightened up? What if they look at my lunch and think 'no wonder she's fat, that egg looks fried?''

    You see, posting a picture of your lunch can be a big deal for someone who overthinks, who wants to please people or who lacks in self-confidence. I can (a lot of the time) overcome this tendency to overthink everything so posted this picture without much hesitation, more confident in my own skin these days and not so concerned anymore what other people think (and also aware that most people won't even notice any of the things I am worried about anyway!) – but the fears were the first voices I heard in my mind and if I didn't have the tools to shut them up they would be the only voices I would hear (and I would never have posted the picture).

    being judged quote

    So, if you are an overthinker, a people-pleaser or lack in self-confidence (or have the full hat-trick like I do!) then believe me when I say I get it – and that I know what a brave thing it is for you to do to share simple things like this. And that is also the reason I am encouraging you to do so – because it is through little steps forward like this, every single day, that there can be massive positive changes to your mindset and your confidence. (So, if you haven't already, be brave enough to share a picture for the challenge – safely in a group full of people who will applaud you for it).

    And if you're not an overthinker or plagued by a fear of being judged, but are in a relationship or friendship with someone who is, please use that picture of my lunch as a reminder of what your friend or partner has going on in their mind over the simplest of tasks. They're not being stupid, or oversensitive, or daft or doing it just to get on your nerves.

    I am the first to now recognise that my own mind battles like this are irrational and I now have a massive awareness of my own tendencies to overthink (which is why I also have more control over it and can stop it paralysing me like it used to) but when I was held hostage by it, being told to stop being so silly, or made to feel stupid for not being able to just get on with the simplest thing just gave me another stick to beat myself with.

    So, if you share your life with an overthinker please be gentle with them and give them some patience. Encourage them to rationalise and overcome their habits rather than fuelling them and remind yourself that just because something seems easy and straightforward to you, doesn't mean it does to them.

    I am so passionate about the Happy Mind Army because I know you don't have to stay paralysed by overthinking, low self-esteem or the need to please everyone and I would urge every overthinker out there to join us and start working towards taking back control of those tendencies right now – and I would urge every friend or partner of an overthinker or someone with low self-esteem to understand and support them to do it.

     Together, we can do it!


    * You can join the FREE Happy Mind Army Facebook group here where you will find the 'March To The Beat of Your Own Drum' challenge and find loads more inspiring stuff to help you build your own happier, healthier mind.

    * For more indepth content, including inspiring artwork ,ebooks and workbooks to help you start implementing mindset changing techniques straightaway you can sign up right now for the Happy Mind Army Members' Club – which is available at the moment for an unbelievable monthly price.

  3. A BIG lesson you can learn from my hall, stairs and landing!

    Posted on

    The run up to Christmas can be an absolutely bonkers time of year – so I'm not sure what possessed us in November to decide that we would redecorate the hall, stairs and landing before the big day! Now this would be a big job at any time, but the fact this space in our home had been neglected for a very long time made it a massive undertaking. We had built an extension, had the garden landscaped, had the house re-roofed and had a new kitchen and bathroom fitted during the last decade or so, but never once had we given any love and attention to the poor hall, stairs and landing.

    So, it was still old anaglypta wallpaper that went back way over 20 years (and which we had painted over 15 years ago!) and chipped gloss on all the skirting boards and door frames which revealed layers of old paintwork in attractive shades of peach and lavender. We had to strip, scrub, fill and sand like nobody's business and once we started it felt like it would take forever!

    hall blog pic

    But one thing that really stood out to me as I cleaned and redecorated every nook and cranny was just how grotty it had become – and how we had become a bit blind to just how bad it was. Now I knew it was bad – I had been fed up with it for a long time – but only when looking at it with fresh eyes and with a view to improving it did I see fully just how unloved it had become.

    We'd had a cupboard made around a new electric fuse box a few years ago, but because the rest of the hall looked a bit of a mess we had never bothered painting it. There had been things spilt and smudged on the walls in places as the girls grew up that had never been cleaned properly because, well it didn't really matter. And the chips in the paintwork and rips in the wallpaper all kind of blended in with the whole neglected feel of the place.

    And I found this to be a really big lesson.

    We had accepted the decline of this part of our home – and had stopped noticing how bad it was (indeed, we were making it worse by not looking after it because it no longer seemed worth investing any effort in). And it made me question whether we could also be guilty of accepting this kind of slow decline in other areas of our lives.

    So we can all learn a lesson from my hall, stairs and landing.

    mandela quote

    As we enter the new year, indeed the new decade, we should all take the blinkers off and have a good, honest look at ourselves and our lives. Is there anything that has slowly declined over time that we might not have even noticed? Maybe there is an element of our life that we stop giving love and attention too because it no longer seems worth the effort? Have we let relationships grow stale? Let bad habits creep in unchallenged? Or maybe we have just settled for what we've got, even if we're not happy with it, because to change it seems like it will take too much time and hard work?

    Do it. Have a good, hard look at your life. Be honest if there is something you're not happy with and then take action – because that is where the magic happens.

    After talking about it for years my hall, stairs and landing is now done – because we finally took the action it needed to do it (we can talk about things and think about things as much as we like – but if we don't take action, nothing changes!) It was hard work (and I think I invented some new swear words when I was wallpapering!) but I am so happy and proud that we have done it. It was a few weeks of blood, sweat and tears – but the positive effects will last for years.

    And the same goes for us. Like my hall, stairs and landing – we can let things slide and become neglected or we can put in some hard work and effort and bring about positive change that can have an effect on us and our lives for many, many years.


    chose your life

     PS: The doors to the brand new Happy Mind Army Members' Club are now open to help you make 2020 a year full of confidence and positive change > click here to sign up now!